Child bearing, Woman’s bodies were created for it. As woman we are made to bring these small creatures into the world, and repopulate the earth. But are we?? Not that it’s a woman’s job, but it is a wonderful plus to have.
I had a very rough childhood. By the time I was 18, I had been in 8 homes and was making my way to the next. I wanted to have a house, a home. A place that I would love with my husband and our children. I was determined to make something I didn’t have, and give to my child what I didn’t have.
I was diagnosed with MRKH at the age of 19 and when that diagnosis was giving, every hope and dream seemed to be distorted in my mind.
I took years for me to pull myself up and realign. Motherhood does not only come to one by bearing children. It comes through many different ways. However, the pain of not being able to bear child is always there. You will always wonder how it feels to feel that small kick, or how it feels to give birth. You will want to kick every person in the shin that’s says, “you are so blessed, you don’t have to experience a period or labour”.
My husband and I are raising a cousin of mine. We have had him for 11 yrs. I truly don’t know what I would have done with out him. He was my breath of fresh air when I felt I was drowning in the sorrow of no children. We have wanted to have more children and walked down the road of foster to adopt. Let me just say, this walk did not end well for us and left us with a lot more heart ache than we thought possibly. We applied for the Uterus transplant in Pennsylvania and were selected for consultation. We were not picked but told we would be put on a waiting list for phase 2, IF they did it.
Again, so much heart ache. We immediately came home and did IVF and decided to pursue Surrogacy. We have 4 embryos ready for transfer and about 55% of our funding for Surrogacy.
MRKH is hard. Infertility is hard. Life is hard. There will always be a hard. But at the end of the day you have to decide if you are going to let it defeat you, or if you are going to defeat it. God keeps me balanced. With him, none of these things can defeat me.
If I can tell anyone anything, it would be that you will be ok. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But if your hope and trust is in God, it will be sooner than later.
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