On the 5th of October 2020, my best friend recommended some tablets she uses to help ease my period pains. On the 27th of October 2020 she told me about a life-changing diagnosis she has, MRKH.
I found learning about the diagnosis extremely upsetting because of what people in the past had said to her. In my eyes, opening up and dealing with something as life-changing as this is amazing. However, previous people she had told said she was unloveable and not a real woman. I have never heard anything so wrong. If I was asked to define what being a woman was, I would use her as an example. My first reaction was to ask her why she hid this from me and lied about her period, as I would support her and help her however I could. This diagnosis does not change my opinion on her what so ever, if anything it has made me realise just how strong and incredible she is! I have told her so many times since she told me that in 20 years time she will be married with the cutest babies; I have never met anyone so fit to be a mother.
My advice to anyone supporting someone with MRKH would be to not treat the person any different. Continue to talk to them about the stuff you would have before, such as your period. Be there if they need someone to rant to, if they need someone to have a drink at 11am with, or to sit and cry with. I have never been good at advice, so I hope me being there for her and cringing every time she says the words “vagina” and “dilation” in the same sentence has helped her in its own way!
I wish this diagnosis was more publicly recognised, as I had never heard of it before my friend explained it to me. She told me how hard it is for her to go into depth about the diagnosis; if it was more well-known I would have understood the situation a bit more, without her having to explain every little difficult aspect of MRKH.
Since learning about the diagnosis, the only thing I have struggled with is seeing how much it upsets and brings my friend down. Every time she feels happy, she gets brought straight back down and I wish I could stop it. I wish she could see herself through everyone else’s eyes and see how inspirational she is. She helps me through so much everyday, and I am so grateful that we were able to meet each other through University. I am so thankful that she trusted me enough to explain this all to me and allow me to try and help her.
“I never let my best friend do stupid things alone” – I will be there for her through everything! Every piercing (haha), appointment, phone-call and whatever adventures we go on.
Friend of an MRKHer x