Recently, I have been reminded of the fragility of life and it makes you think.
Things can change in a second.
We take so much for granted and are wholly unprepared when something out of the blue happens, whatever that is.
Of course that’s just life and things just happen.
Yet so many of us, me included, save things for a rainy day or make bucket lists when we could just get out there and do those things. Yet there is always a reason not to or to put it off.
I spent much of my twenties worrying about a future that won’t even happen but that I thought that was what I wanted at the time. I thought that was what I wanted in part because I hadn’t really sat down with myself and really thought about it yet and because all my friends were going through the motions and having children at the time and I felt I wanted that too.
Reality hit like lightbulb moment a couple of years later and some heartache in between. Suddenly my befuddled brain was clear and I knew what I really wanted. What I really wanted was to be happy but happiness for me didn’t rely on having a child myself.
I had become so conscious of thinking about this one thing, this one process that I wasn’t focusing on what was important at the time. Living in the moment and finding out what was actually important to me.
It was only then could I really make clear decisions and be honest with myself what I wanted and set myself smaller, realistic, goals to get there.
I know I personally add so much pressure on myself. Pressure to succeed, do well, be there and so many times that is totally dumbfounded and unnecessary. Quite frankly it is also often impossible to achieve in the way I often expect it should be. Yet of course, despite the advice we give others, it still seems like we can be the one exception, or more likely we are just crap at taking our own advice (I know I am).
I have easily forgotten what is important in life and why it is important, at times. When you realise you are prioritising replying to a non urgent work email in an evening, over spending time with your loved ones, then you need to wake up.
I sometimes prioritise things in the wrong way because it seems like the better choice for whatever often misplaced reason that is at the time. Instead I should be thinking what is realistic and what is actually expected of me. The important thing is will anyone die if I don’t reply to this email in the next 8 seconds (hint – the answer is No).
I need to learn to say no (to lot’s of things), to be spontaneous and to think what’s best for me and those close to me and do what makes me happy, as we all should.
This maybe sounds a bit fantastical to say, perhaps even wishful thinking, but it isn’t it is one of these life lessons that is all too important to try to remember. Even though it isn’t always very easy to do in practice.
Life is short and we only get one of them. Spending time worrying about small things is natural, we all do it, but finding solutions to remove the unnecessary worry and live in the moment is better.