At the age of 17 when I was diagnosed with MRKH I was completely devastated as my world around me collapsed.
Ever since I can remember I have suffered with anxiety, and being diagnosed with MRKH added to my anxiety and eventually it sent me into a spiral of mixed emotions and finally resulted me having severe depression for a short period.
I felt alone, scared what my future would hold, would I find love and find someone whom would except me and my MRKH condition?? The uncertainty swamped and consumed my emotions/ well being.
Every day I woke up and felt the same emotions……
“ I can’t have children, I can’t have children!!!” I felt sick with sadness and despair. I turned my back on God and my faith. I felt punished and could not understand why me? Why had God chosen this journey for me? I had just completed my first year at college, training to become an Early years Practitioner.
From the age of 14 I had always wanted to work with children, and wished for a large family…… now suddenly it felt like that my dreams had been taken away from me!
I was angry with God, and it stayed with me along with the resentment for many years, it’s why I probably suffered with a breakdown and mentally shutdown.
Gradually after seeking professional help over a course of many years I began to slowly except my condition and that I would not have my own children.
I learnt for me that “it wasn’t the end of the world!” I could live a happy for filling future without becoming a “mum”.
I have always worked with children , and for many years I believed children made me who I was, without them in my life I wasn’t truly me/ happy. I even called myself “Mary Poppins”.
To help and support my mental health and well-being, I meditate regularly, journal, read, practice yoga and get out in nature as much as I can. These activities have definitely helped and contributed to a healthy and happier me!
Fast forward to the present day, I can fully say hand on heart that I’m at peace with MRKH……. I learnt to forgive God and realised he had a plan for me. I’m where I am today because what I’ve endured.
I’ve had to suffer the worse days of my life to conquer, be grateful and feel blessed having the best days of my life!
My MRKH community have without a doubt been the main support where my healing/ acceptance has formed from.
My well being/mental health living with MRKH is now the best it has ever been and even though it’s been a roller coaster journey, I wouldn’t want my life any other way.
I was born a MRKH warrior, it’s made me a stronger , more resilient, courageous, and confident woman than I ever imagined.
I was lucky enough to meet my soul mate at the age of 19yrs, and we have been happily married for nearly 20 yrs.
If someone asked me if I had a choice to be born with/ without a uterus, I would not hesitate and reply…… “I’d be born without a uterus” why?
Because without my MRKH community I wouldn’t have the pleasure of knowing so many amazing, strong, supportive, and compassionate women that I’m proud to call my family.
I’m a warrior,
I’m 1 in 5,000!!!