Charlie’s poem

This is a departure to what I usually write but this is important to me and I felt compelled to share.

Why you may ask?

Well because for too long….sex (often mouthed or said in hushed tones)… is a topic we are not always open about, it is taboo and more likely many of us only think of it in terms of penetration. Why?

Because the dictionary definition of sex is related to sexual intercourse and not everything else that goes with it.

We forget that sex is more than that. Soooo much more! Pleasure and intimacy are often forgotten and we fixate on penetration because largely that is what we are taught.

No my foof (vagina) is not really inconvenient in fact it is quite the opposite but for so long I thought it was. That MRKH made it inconvenient. It made it different. That MRKH meant I couldn’t have sex until I had undergone treatment that pleasure would be different because of it. But this is completely the wrong way to look at it. The focus should always be on pleasure as a priority. The fact I had MRKH had nothing to do with it. I needed to learn what I liked, as we all do.

These views are my own but inspired by our MRKH Journal and Art club I wrote a poem.

Sex is not just penetration
It is more of an amalgamation
Of intimate feelings of pleasure
Which can be quite difficult to measure

Maybe you think it a dirty word
I don’t know what you might have heard
But it is natural and fulfilling,
and really rather good for your wellbeing

Being told at 17 I needed to dilate to have sex
Just felt that somehow I had been given a hex
That i needed to make my vagina as the only option
but this is largely due to our incomplete sex education

For so long pleasure has been directly linked to penetration
Yet most female orgasms come from clitoral stimulation
An organ designed purely for our own gratification
But so many of us don’t even know the satisfaction

Don’t get me wrong, penetration is really great
But actually pleasure is better, there is no debate
So sex has to be more than just P in V
It can be whatever we want it to be

Enjoying ourselves is the most important thing
Along with being safe and happy and exploring
It is also really much more than I thought it could be
It is that feeling of intimacy

The biggest thing I have learnt is that we are really all quite the same
But we take on a lot of our own self blame
The worry the embarrassment and awkwardness
Yet if we were all a little more open it would feel so much less

Being open means communicating more
It doesn’t have to make us a bore
But prioritising pleasure should not feel wrong or dirty
It should never be an after thought or something we do just when we are flirty

So we need to change the conversation
And write our own narration
We need to think about what makes us feel good
And ensure that we don’t just do it because we think we should

Sex is not just penetration
It is more of an amalgamation
Of intimate feelings of pleasure
Which can be quite difficult to measure


Check out more of Charlie’s posts on her blog –